Here are some examples of clients I’ve worked with. If you’re considering working with me, I would encourage you to look them up as referrences. Just let me know and I’ll share contact ino with you. For the website Identifying details have been changed to protect the parents’ privacy..
When Rebecca came to see me. she was at her wit’s end and didn’t know what to do. Rebecca’s 5 year old boy, George, had become a “little terror.” She found herself taking things from him and even yelling, and she felt terrible.
Just the day before, Rebecca had spent an hour cooking dinner. George refused to eat it. Frustrated and tired, Rebecca” lost i,” as she said, and threatened to “throw away every toy in the house.”
Like most parents, Rebecca assumed George was strong-willed and demanding. She was surprised to learn that George was looking for her to take charge more strongly. She was even more surprised to learn that sensitive children often come across as bossy.Rebecca’s own problems had been excessively strict and unavailable emotionally and she was determined not to repeat the pattern.
Rebecca’s responses were not at all unusual. I reassured her that she’s a good parent and a loving mom. She wanted step-by-step “to dos” so I customized the program to give her specific practices she could try out each week.
I heard ran into Rebecca a couple of months after our sessions and she was smiling from ear to ear. Her home was much more peaceful and happy, and she enjoys recognizing George’s needs and being sensitive to them.
JOSH AND SANDY
Josh and Sandy have two children: Jake, seven, and Tabitha, who turned four about a month ago. When Jake was five, he began hitting his sister and ignoring his parents when they talked to him. Their pediatrician recommended time-outs – a minute for every year of age.
Time-outs seemed to be working for about a year, but then Jake’s behavior became worse than it had been at the beginning. Feeling desperate and powerless, Josh and Sandy came to see me.
We began by moving Josh and Sandy from reactive to proactive parenting styles. They also learned the “read and lead” approach, which involves aksing, “What’s going on with my child right now?”
Josh and Sandy particularly liked the “collecting” technique that Dr. Neufeld development. Collecting means providing the connection and proximity the child is seeking, preferably before the child needs it. For Josh and Sandy, this meant incorporating lots of new rituals, big and small: an extra hug for no reason when he wasn’t expecting one, quality time with Dad in the morning or quiet time with Mom in the afternoon.
We also prepared Jake and Sandy for what to do when indicidents happen. They learned to take control of the situation and change what they could immediately, and then wait for a quieter time to focus on change.
Jake and Sandy were thrilled to replace time-outs with techniques to create connection with both their children. When we last talked they were thrilled with their quieter, more peaceful home. Jake had discontinued all the troublesome behaviors that had brought them to my ofice.
Molly and Roger had two girls – Annie was four and Julie was seventh months old. Annie was showing a lot of defiance and aggressive. “She always seems to want to get in a fight,” said Roger.
Molly had tried time-outs and taking things away. She didn’t feel good about it and she was beginning to wonder if she was doing something wrong or if something was wrong with Annie.
I taught Molly a few practices to stay connected and feel connected, even when she was separated from Annie for a few hours. After ten sessions, Molly reported, “I can see much more clearly why problems happen and what’s going on. I can feel much more understanding and compassionate. I no longer react to what happens. I take charge and I can usually stop Annie’s aggressive behavior before it even starts.”