Helping parents raise secure, resilient kids
Become the calm, connected, and confident parent your kids need.
You love your kids, and you've read the advice. Home still feels harder than it should. Chances are you've been given pieces of the puzzle but haven't been shown the whole thing.
Watch the Parenting RoadmapFree video, 49 minutes, with a family assessment tool.
Todd Sarner, LMFT · Parent coach for 23 years, psychotherapist for 17
Author of The Calm & Connected ParentWhere does your family feel stuck?
You've given your kids a lot: a good home, good schools, full calendars, two busy careers keeping it all going. And home can still feel harder than it should. Do any of these sound familiar?
Does it feel like no one is listening?
You ask, remind, and ask again, and your kids still seem to tune you out.
Do the days feel like a constant push?
Mornings, bedtimes, and getting out the door turn into a battle, and the whole family feels it.
Do hard moments leave you feeling guilty?
Meltdowns, pushback, and the same fights keep coming back, and afterward you don't like how you handled it.
None of these means you're doing something wrong. Each one usually has more than one cause, and they're often connected. The Roadmap video shows you how the pieces fit together and where to start with your family.
The whole Map
The Map most families are missing.
Most parenting advice tries to fix the problem in front of you: the meltdown, the bedtime battle, the kid who won't listen. But those problems usually have a cause underneath them. The Map shows you what's really going on and what to work on first.
The three realms of parenting
Parenting comes down to three realms that work together, in a certain order. Each one makes the next one possible.
Connect
Build the kind of relationship that makes kids want to follow your lead.
Regulate
Set up daily rhythms, routines, and limits that help kids settle.
Guide
Handle hard moments in a way that teaches kids what to do next time.
Three conditions that need to be in place for any of it to work
Like any good system, the Map only works when these are in place. They're about you, not your kids.
Every piece of the Map makes the other pieces work: the three realms, in the right order, with the three conditions in place underneath them. That's why advice that gives you only one piece rarely holds. When the whole Map is in place, kids grow up secure, regulated, and resilient.
Meet Todd
Seeing the whole family, not just the behavior.
I'm Todd Sarner. I've been a parent coach for 23 years. I'm also a psychotherapist, and for 17 years my couples work has been only with parents. I have advanced training in nervous system regulation for individuals and couples, and I'm a former Faculty Member of the Neufeld Institute. I'm based in Northern California, and most of the families I've worked with are in Marin and around the Bay Area.
That combination matters because most of what makes parenting hard goes back to what we learned growing up: how we handle stress, how we hold a boundary, how we talk things through with a partner. Part of our job as parents is not passing those things on, and helping our kids grow up more secure than we were. I can show you how.
More about ToddWhat parents say
“I've been thinking about you all week. I did what you said and it was absolutely amazing how it worked! My kids didn't fight, our home was so much more harmonious, and I got along better with my husband. We had some bumps over the weekend but at least now I know what I can do to get things back on track. My kids LOVE hearing about when they were babies and toddlers. Their faces light up and I have their 100% attention.”
“My daughter is now a high school senior. While I did not have this book available over those years, I was blessed to come across Todd and his parenting wisdom. Over much of the 17 years, Todd was my trusted life and parenting coach. His experience and commitment to serve me in becoming the best person and father I could be was priceless.”
After the Roadmap
Keep exploring on your own
Start with the Roadmap video. It shows you the whole Map and where your family is on it. Afterward, if you'd like to keep exploring on your own, these conversations are a good next step. Pick the area that feels hardest for your family.
Connect · When no one is listening
Parenting Great Kids with Dr. Meg MeekerUnlocking Connection and Calm in Parenting Authentic ParentingThe Middle Path of ParentingRegulate · When the days feel like a push
Talk to Danielle (video)From Daily Chaos to Lasting Calm Parent Like a PsychologistRaising Resilient Kids in the Age of Screens and AIWould you like our help directly?
Each month we work with only a handful of families. We keep it small on purpose, so each family gets real attention, and we only take on families we're confident we can help.
The first step is the Roadmap video. After you've watched it, send us the word COHORT, and we'll email you a document with all the details: what working together looks like, the time it takes, and the tuition. That way you can make an informed decision. We don't do sales calls. If the timing is right for you, and we believe it's a good fit, we'll welcome you into the process.
Watch the Roadmap first