I Help Parents Who’ve Tried Everything Find the Approach That Actually Works.

I’m Todd Sarner — a licensed therapist, former Neufeld Institute faculty member, and a dad who’s been doing this work for over 22 years.

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How I Got Here

For over 20 years, I’ve been working with one question: Why do some families flow while others struggle constantly, even when the parents are smart, loving, and doing everything “right”?

Early in my career, I worked with kids directly. Individual therapy, family sessions, short-term coaching. Some of it helped temporarily, but nothing created the lasting change families actually needed.

The breakthrough came in two stages. First, I shifted from helping kids to helping parents, and from managing behavior to building connection. My training at the Neufeld Institute, where I was personally mentored by Dr. Gordon Neufeld, made that shift possible.

But even that wasn’t enough. The second breakthrough was realizing that families don’t just need information. They need a complete system: education, coaching, real-time problem-solving, and community support, all working together. That’s when transformation actually started sticking.

That realization became the foundation of the Transformative Parenting Process Intensive. I’ve been refining it with every family since, and it’s now been tested with over 2,000 families across two decades.

Training and Background

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (California)
MA in Counseling Psychology, California Institute of Integral Studies
Former Faculty Member of the Neufeld Institute, personally mentored by Dr. Gordon Neufeld
Advanced training in couples work — Dr. Sue Johnson (EFT) and Dr. Stan Tatkin (PACT)
22+ years clinical practice, 2,000+ families served

I have the clinical training to understand how families really work. But I’ve designed this as a coaching process specifically for transformation, not therapy. The distinction matters: therapy explores the past; coaching builds the future.

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The Principles Behind the Work

Behavior is the branches. Connection and regulation are the roots. Tend the roots and the branches grow.

Everything I do is built on a few core convictions:

Connection comes first.

A child who doesn't feel safe with you can't accept your guidance. Relationship is always the starting point.

Parents need capacity, not just information.

Knowing what to do and being able to do it when you’re triggered are two different things. I help build the second.

The partnership matters.

When co-parents aren’t aligned, even the best strategies collapse. I work with the whole system, not just one parent.

Repair beats perfection.

Kids don’t need flawless parents. They need parents who can own their mistakes and reconnect. That’s what I teach, and it’s how I try to live.

This isn’t about control.

The goal isn’t obedience. It’s raising a child who can handle life — one who feels secure enough to be curious, resilient, and kind.

What Colleagues Say

“Todd brings a sensitivity and compassion to his profession together with a strong understanding of how to help parents with their children. I have enjoyed the opportunity to work closely with him and have been impressed by his perceptiveness and effectiveness. Parents can be assured they are in good hands with Todd.”

— Dr. Gordon Neufeld,

Developmental Psychologist, Author of Hold On to Your Kids

“The toughest part about educating parents is making sure that they leave with practical, enforceable and realistic solutions for their particular family. Todd delivers in spades.”

— Dr. Madeline Levine,
Clinical Psychologist, Author of The Price of Privilege

“Todd Sarner has written a heartfelt book for parents, encouraging them to connect with their children in a world of non-stop interference from technology. The magic in his writing is that he connects with his readers’ everyday parenting experience so powerfully!”

— Tina Feigal, M.S.,
Parent Coach and Behavior Consultant

I don’t take this work lightly. Parenting is deeply personal, and I’m honored when families trust me to guide them through this process.

My goal is simple: help parents step into calm, steady leadership so their children are free to grow into who they’re meant to be, and so the whole family can actually enjoy being together.