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End Daily Power Struggles Without Threats, Bribes, or Battles

The Calm & Connected Parent: An Attachment-First Blueprint for Raising Resilient Kids Who Actually Want to Cooperate

End Daily Power Struggles Without Threats, Bribes, or Battles

The Calm & Connected Parent: An Attachment-First Blueprint for Raising Resilient Kids Who Actually Want to Cooperate

What if the problem isn’t your child’s behavior but the approach you’ve been taught to use?

It’s 7:42 AM. You’ve asked three times for shoes to go on feet. Your child is negotiating like a tiny lawyer, and you can feel your calm evaporating. Sound familiar?

Or maybe it’s the nightly screen battle.

“Five more minutes!” turns into twenty, followed by tears (theirs and yours). You’ve tried charts, consequences, and every parenting hack on Instagram, but you’re still trapped in exhausting cycles of resistance and meltdowns.

Why Nothing Seems to Work

Modern parenting feels like navigating a minefield blindfolded. One minute you’re too soft, the next too harsh. Your child pushes back on everything. Putting on shoes becomes a negotiation, homework turns into a battle, and bedtime stretches into an hour-long ordeal.

Meanwhile, screens seem to have magical powers over your kids that you lack. They can focus for hours on a tablet but “can’t hear” you asking them to set the table three times.

The real problem?

Most parenting advice treats symptoms, not causes. Time-outs, reward charts, and “consequences” create compliance but not connection. And without connection, you’re fighting the same battles every single day.

The Solution: Lead with Warm Authority

The Calm & Connected Parent reveals a third way that is neither permissive nor punitive but grounded in what 20+ years of attachment science has proven works: children cooperate when they feel connected.

This isn’t about being the “fun parent” or avoiding boundaries. The goal is to become the calm, confident leader your child’s nervous system can trust and follow. When children feel genuinely connected to you, resistance drops, cooperation increases, and those daily battles simply… disappear.

What You’ll Learn: Your Blueprint for Peaceful Days

By applying these methods for 30 days, you’ll learn how to:

  • End Power Struggles in Minutes, Not Hours: Master the “collect before you direct” technique so your requests land the first time, without negotiations or meltdowns.

  • Transform Meltdowns into Moments of Connection: Use co-regulation tools to help big emotions resolve in 5-10 minutes instead of derailing your entire evening.

  • Set Boundaries That Actually Stick: Hold firm limits with calm authority. No more empty threats, bribes, or battles of will.

  • Create Screen Agreements That Work: Establish technology boundaries that your kids follow willingly (yes, really) without daily arguments.

  • Repair Quickly After Blow-Ups: Simple, guilt-free methods to reconnect after conflicts, so one bad moment doesn’t ruin your whole relationship.

  • Get Your Partner on the Same Page: Use shared language and rituals to present a united front, even when you parent differently.

This background gives me the clinical training to understand how families really work, but I've designed this as a coaching process specifically for transformation, not therapy.

Why This Book Changes Everything

The Calm & Connected Parent isn’t another collection of parenting tips. It’s a complete paradigm shift based on proven attachment science:

✅ Attachment-First, Behavior-Second: Address the root cause of resistance—disconnection—not just the symptoms.

✅ Builds Your Presence, Not Just Your Toolbox: Learn “who to be” with your child, not just “what to do” in the moment.

✅ Proven with 2,000+ Families: Methods tested and refined through decades of clinical practice, not theoretical concepts.

✅ Works for Real, Busy Parents: Short, repeatable rituals that fit into actual family life.

✅ Addresses Modern Challenges: Practical strategies for screens, AI, overscheduling, and peer pressure that previous generations never faced.

This background gives me the clinical training to understand how families really work, but I've designed this as a coaching process specifically for transformation, not therapy.

About the Author

Todd Sarner, MFT, is a licensed psychotherapist and parenting coach who has guided over 2,000 families since 2004. Personally mentored by attachment pioneer Dr. Gordon Neufeld and trained by relationship experts Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Stan Tatkin, Todd translates complex developmental science into practical strategies that work in real homes with real kids.

 

His signature Transformative Parenting Process Intensive (TPPI) has become a lifeline for thoughtful parents who’ve “tried everything” but still find themselves stuck in daily battles.

Your Family Transformation Starts Today

Stop fighting the same battles every day. Your child wants to cooperate. They just need to feel connected to you first.

Order your copy of The Calm & Connected Parent today and start building the peaceful, connected home you’ve been dreaming of.

30-day satisfaction guarantee: If these methods don’t transform your daily interactions, return the book for a full refund.

P.S. Tomorrow morning, you’ll face the same choice: continue the old pattern of battles and resistance, or try something that actually works. Your peaceful home is just one book away.

Don't Take Our Word For It

Todd does something delicate and rare. He brings great depth, genuine expertise and practical advice and yet balances this with compassion and humility.

In a field where so many parenting 'experts' unwittingly leave a parent feeling inadequate, Todd empowers.

Kim John Payne, M.Ed.

Author of Simplicity Parenting and The Soul of Discipline

Todd is one of the most intuitive, instructive and down to earth practitioners I know. His classes always get rave reviews. Most importantly, he leaves parents with reassurance and direction.

The toughest part about educating parents is making sure that they leave with practical, enforceable and realistic solutions for their particular family. Todd delivers in spades.

Madeline Levine, Ph.D.

Clinical Psychologist and Author of The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well

Todd brings a sensitivity and compassion to his profession together with a strong understanding of how to help parents with their children.

I have enjoyed the opportunity to work closely with him and have been impressed by his perceptiveness and effectiveness in presenting and in parent consulting. Parents can be assured they are in good hands with Todd.

Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D.

Developmental Psychologist and Author of Hold On to Your Kids

"My husband travels for work, so I'm single-parenting half the time. When he'd come home, he'd try to 'fix' everything, which made me feel incompetent.

Todd's approach gave us a framework we could both use. Now he doesn't need to rescue us—we're doing fine."

Beth

Mom of 2, Tiburon, CA

"We used to lose it when our 4-year-old had public meltdowns.

Todd helped us see that she wasn't being manipulative—she was overwhelmed and needed our help, not our anger. Now we can actually calm her down instead of making things worse."

Lisa & Mark

Parents of 2, Westport, CT

"Our kids were constantly testing boundaries and we'd react differently every time—sometimes we'd give in, sometimes we'd blow up. The inconsistency was making everyone crazy.

Todd's approach taught us how to be calm and predictable leaders. Now our kids actually respect our boundaries because they know what to expect from us."

Rebecca and Kyle
Parents of two, Toronto, ON

Frequently Asked Questions

Will this work if my child has ADHD or is highly sensitive?

Yes. The book includes specific adaptations for children with attention differences and sensitive temperaments. Connection and co-regulation are especially powerful for these children.

What if my partner and I disagree on parenting approaches?

Chapter 13 specifically addresses this challenge with practical strategies for finding common ground and presenting a united front, even when you have different styles.

How quickly will I see results?

Most parents notice shifts within the first week, particularly with morning and bedtime routines. Deeper changes in the relationship typically develop over 4-6 weeks of consistent practice.