🚨 The Calm & Connected Parent Book • Coming November 18, 2025 + Join the notification list! → Get Early Access
End Daily Power Struggles Without Threats, Bribes, or Battles
The Calm & Connected Parent: An Attachment-First Guide to Raising Resilient Kids in the Age of Screens and AI
End Daily Power Struggles Without Threats, Bribes, or Battles
The Calm & Connected Parent: An Attachment-First Guide to Raising Resilient Kids in the Age of Screens and AI
What if the problem isn’t your child’s behavior but the approach you’ve been taught to use?
It’s 7:42 AM. You’ve asked three times for shoes to go on feet. Your child is negotiating like a tiny lawyer, and you can feel your calm evaporating. Sound familiar?
Or maybe it’s the nightly screen battle.
“Five more minutes!” turns into twenty, followed by tears (theirs and yours). You’ve tried charts, consequences, and every parenting hack on Instagram, but you’re still trapped in exhausting cycles of resistance and meltdowns.
Why Nothing Seems to Work
Modern parenting feels like navigating a minefield blindfolded. One minute you’re too soft, the next too harsh. Your child pushes back on everything. Putting on shoes becomes a negotiation, homework turns into a battle, and bedtime stretches into an hour-long ordeal.
Meanwhile, screens seem to have magical powers over your kids that you lack. They can focus for hours on a tablet but “can’t hear” you asking them to set the table three times.
The real problem?
Most parenting advice treats symptoms, not causes. Time-outs, reward charts, and “consequences” create compliance but not connection. And without connection, you’re fighting the same battles every single day.
The Solution: Lead with Warm Authority
The Calm & Connected Parent reveals a third way that is neither permissive nor punitive but grounded in what 20+ years of attachment science has proven works: children cooperate when they feel connected.
This isn’t about being the “fun parent” or avoiding boundaries. The goal is to become the calm, confident leader your child’s nervous system can trust and follow. When children feel genuinely connected to you, resistance drops, cooperation increases, and those daily battles simply… disappear.
What You’ll Learn: Your Blueprint for Peaceful Days
By applying these methods for 30 days, you’ll learn how to:
End Power Struggles in Minutes, Not Hours: Master the “collect before you direct” technique so your requests land the first time, without negotiations or meltdowns.
Transform Meltdowns into Moments of Connection: Use co-regulation tools to help big emotions resolve in 5-10 minutes instead of derailing your entire evening.
Set Boundaries That Actually Stick: Hold firm limits with calm authority. No more empty threats, bribes, or battles of will.
Create Screen Agreements That Work: Establish technology boundaries that your kids follow willingly (yes, really) without daily arguments.
Repair Quickly After Blow-Ups: Simple, guilt-free methods to reconnect after conflicts, so one bad moment doesn’t ruin your whole relationship.
Get Your Partner on the Same Page: Use shared language and rituals to present a united front, even when you parent differently.
Why This Book Changes Everything
The Calm & Connected Parent isn’t another collection of parenting tips. It’s a complete paradigm shift based on proven attachment science:
✅ Attachment-First, Behavior-Second: Address the root cause of resistance—disconnection—not just the symptoms.
✅ Builds Your Presence, Not Just Your Toolbox: Learn “who to be” with your child, not just “what to do” in the moment.
✅ Proven with 2,000+ Families: Methods tested and refined through decades of clinical practice, not theoretical concepts.
✅ Works for Real, Busy Parents: Short, repeatable rituals that fit into actual family life.
✅ Addresses Modern Challenges: Practical strategies for screens, AI, overscheduling, and peer pressure that previous generations never faced.
About the Author
Todd Sarner, MFT, is a licensed psychotherapist and parenting coach who has guided over 2,000 families since 2004. Personally mentored by attachment pioneer Dr. Gordon Neufeld and trained by relationship experts Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Stan Tatkin, Todd translates complex developmental science into practical strategies that work in real homes with real kids.
His signature Transformative Parenting Process Intensive (TPPI) has become a lifeline for thoughtful parents who’ve “tried everything” but still find themselves stuck in daily battles.
Your Family Transformation Starts Today
Stop fighting the same battles every day. Your child wants to cooperate. They just need to feel connected to you first.
Order your copy of The Calm & Connected Parent today and start building the peaceful, connected home you’ve been dreaming of.
P.S. Tomorrow morning, you’ll face the same choice: continue the old pattern of battles and resistance, or try something that actually works. Your peaceful home is just one book away.
Don't Take Our Word For It
Todd does something delicate and rare. He brings great depth, genuine expertise and practical advice and yet balances this with compassion and humility.
In a field where so many parenting 'experts' unwittingly leave a parent feeling inadequate, Todd empowers.
Kim John Payne, M.Ed.
Author of Simplicity Parenting and The Soul of Discipline
Todd is one of the most intuitive, instructive and down to earth practitioners I know. His classes always get rave reviews. Most importantly, he leaves parents with reassurance and direction.
The toughest part about educating parents is making sure that they leave with practical, enforceable and realistic solutions for their particular family. Todd delivers in spades.
Madeline Levine, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist and Author of The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well
Todd brings a sensitivity and compassion to his profession together with a strong understanding of how to help parents with their children.
I have enjoyed the opportunity to work closely with him and have been impressed by his perceptiveness and effectiveness in presenting and in parent consulting. Parents can be assured they are in good hands with Todd.
Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D.
Developmental Psychologist and Author of Hold On to Your Kids
"My husband travels for work, so I'm single-parenting half the time. When he'd come home, he'd try to 'fix' everything, which made me feel incompetent.
Todd's approach gave us a framework we could both use. Now he doesn't need to rescue us—we're doing fine."
Beth
Mom of 2, Tiburon, CA
"We used to lose it when our 4-year-old had public meltdowns.
Todd helped us see that she wasn't being manipulative—she was overwhelmed and needed our help, not our anger. Now we can actually calm her down instead of making things worse."
Lisa & Mark
Parents of 2, Westport, CT
"Our kids were constantly testing boundaries and we'd react differently every time—sometimes we'd give in, sometimes we'd blow up. The inconsistency was making everyone crazy.
Todd's approach taught us how to be calm and predictable leaders. Now our kids actually respect our boundaries because they know what to expect from us."
Rebecca and Kyle
Parents of two, Toronto, ON
Frequently Asked Questions
What is The Calm & Connected Parent about?
It’s a practical, attachment-first blueprint for becoming the steady leader your child can depend on—especially in a screen-saturated world. The focus is on who you are as a parent (calm, clear, connected) so limits and routines actually stick with less conflict.
What makes this different from other parenting books?
Instead of toggling between permissive and harsh approaches, this book teaches a third way: warm, firm, relationship-centered leadership. You’ll learn how connection carries boundaries—so you don’t have to parent by threats, bribes, or endless debates about screens.
Who is the book for?
Thoughtful, busy parents who want fewer power struggles and more cooperation—without becoming authoritarian. It’s especially helpful for families navigating digital life, strong-willed behavior, and chronic friction at home.
What ages does it cover?
The principles apply broadly from early childhood through the tween years and adapt well for early teens. Examples span preschool through middle school.
What’s the core framework?
Three phases you can cycle through anytime:
- Attachment & Connection (strengthen the bond),
- Environment & Regulation (structure, rhythms, screens, consequence teaching),
- Discipline & Behavior (clear limits, calm follow-through, skill-building).
How do I get updates and invitations?
Join the notification list at transformativeparenting.com (tap “New Book”) and the Facebook group where events will be hosted:
Will there be launch bonuses or events?
We’ll announce book-related events and any launch bonuses to the notification list and in the Facebook group.
Can I get an early (digital) copy?
We may invite a small ARC (Advance Reader Copy) group of up to 20 parents. When open, we’ll share details with the notification list.
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