“I felt like I was failing at everything — being a good mom, having a good marriage, raising kind kids. My husband and I would argue about discipline constantly. Todd helped us stop fighting each other and start parenting as a team. Our home feels peaceful again, and our kids are thriving. I finally feel proud of the parent I am.”

“Honestly, we were a mess. I wanted more rules and consequences, my husband wanted to be the ‘fun parent,’ and we’d argue about everything. Should we let our daughter stay up late? How do we handle tantrums? We couldn’t agree on anything, and it was killing our marriage. Todd helped us realize we actually wanted the same thing — we just had different ideas about how to get there. Once we understood what our kids really needed, we stopped fighting each other and started working together. The kids picked up on it immediately. Our house actually feels peaceful now, and honestly, my husband and I like each other again.”

“I used to yell a lot. I’m not proud of it. But I didn’t know how else to get through to my son. Todd helped me understand what was going on beneath the behavior — and gave me a completely different way to respond. It changed everything.”

“I was completely burnt out. Between work deadlines and coming home to chaos every night, I felt like I was failing at everything. My daughter would lose it over the smallest homework assignment — like, full-on screaming matches. And my son? Let’s just say the other parents at preschool pickup definitely noticed his behavior. The worst part was feeling so incompetent. I can run a team at work, I have an MBA, but I couldn’t get my 5-year-old to put on his shoes without a fight. Todd helped me see that I was treating my kids like employees instead of, you know, actual little people with feelings. Once I stopped trying to ‘manage’ them and started really connecting with them, it was like a switch flipped.”

“Our middle son. He’s this incredibly smart kid, but living with him was like having a tiny lawyer in the house. Everything was a negotiation. ‘Why do I have to brush my teeth?’ ‘Why can’t I eat ice cream for breakfast?’ I swear, I heard ‘why’ about 500 times a day. We tried everything — sticker charts, taking away privileges, even bribing him with screen time. Nothing worked. The worst part? I started avoiding him. Like, I’d cringe when he walked into the room, and then I’d feel like the worst mom ever. Todd totally shifted how we saw it. He helped us realize that all that arguing wasn’t defiance — it was actually his way of trying to connect with us. Once we started channeling that energy instead of fighting it, he became this amazing little helper. He still asks a million questions, but now he’s using that curiosity to help his sister with her homework and figure out playground drama. Same kid, totally different dynamic.”

“Co-parenting after divorce is brutal. My ex would let the kids stay up until midnight, eat whatever they wanted, and basically had zero rules. Then they’d come back to my house completely wired and out of control. I’d spend the first two days of every visit just trying to get them back to normal. I was so angry about what I couldn’t change — like, why can’t he just follow a bedtime routine? — that I was making myself crazy. Todd helped me focus on what I actually could control, which was creating this calm, predictable space at my house. Now when the kids come home, they know what to expect. They know I’m not going to yell or freak out, even when they’re acting wild. It took a few months, but they actually started looking forward to coming back here. My house became their safe place, and honestly, that’s all I ever wanted.”

“This book cut through all the noise for me. Sarner doesn’t give you another list of tricks or consequences — he shows you how to actually connect with your kid so the hard stuff gets easier naturally. If you’re exhausted from the ask-repeat-yell cycle, this gives you a completely different way forward that actually feels sustainable.”

“Two of our three kids are ADHD and addicted to screens. We’ve tried our best to limit since early childhood, but the battle rages on. This book hit the nail on the head for us, striking a rare balance between being deeply insightful and incredibly practical. There are real strategies here that we can already see a difference with.”

“This book helped me put words to the kind of father and parent I want to be — calm, steady, and someone my kids can orient to when life feels overwhelming. I found myself thinking again and again, ‘Yes, that is exactly it, that is how I want to show up.’”

“Todd’s simple and effective approach has shaped my parenting since my son’s first year. He is now 18 and I wouldn’t change a thing.”